Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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