Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
babies were throwing up all over the place
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
