Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
