so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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