i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
