idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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