I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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