Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We were destined to go to rehab together
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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