well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
