sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
