Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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