this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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