Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
