You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
