3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
