We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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