apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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