I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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