That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
