Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
