Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
