i just google imaged poop.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
