I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
