if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
