anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
