he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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