I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
