Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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