I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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