Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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