It's Friday. Sex?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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