Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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