letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
