That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
