His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
