ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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