He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
