I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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