Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
