I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
