I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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