so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
