Define "chronic" masturbator.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
