Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
