I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
