i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
