I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
he fucked my hip out of place.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
