Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
