im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I am available for nakedness
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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