wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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